Entries by tag: emotional health

Doctors in Orange County, CA?
Lane Reading
After spending the past three days crying and hating myself after my psychiatrist minimized my self image issues to "eat less, exercise more, set a goal weight and you will feel better," I'm realizing that maybe I need to find another psychiatrist and therapist. But I don't know where to start.  If there is anyone in Orange County, CA who knows of some mental health professionals who are sensitive and compassionate to people of size?

OOTD; old photo, possible anxiety trigger
This was taken in February 2011, but it's an outfit that I've worn a few times and feel comfy in. (for those who would like my icon! snag if you want, just please credit me)

OOTD and possible trigger for anxietyCollapse )

OTHER // Can You Handle These Curves? :D
so as a little short statement - i sing in a funk rock band and i play around the chicago area. never have i ever sang without my arms being covered. even if i was in a cute dress, i would not be sleeveless because when i was cast to sing in some show my sophomore year of high school, the director forced me to go out and buy something to cover my arms. ever since i’ve never worn sleeveless, even in the summer.

not tonight.

tonight, for the very first time, i performed (to a sold out crowd, mind you) in a spaghetti strapped dress. i may not be as out there as beth ditto (yet) but oh man, I can’t even tell you just how proud i am of myself. the stage felt like it was 100 degrees up there - i just said screw it and ripped my jacket off, and I was really throwing myself around without a care in the world, and thats what life should be like. i’m fat, yes. but i’m also awesome.

[apologies for no photos of my cute dress LOL it was soaked with sweat by the time I was done but i digress :)]

positive doctor experience + birthday dinner w. crustaceans!
cake of cups
Hi everyone,

I went to a new doctor this past Friday and it was such a positive experience that I've been eager to share it with the community. I'll cut it for length and possible triggering...because I'll have to preface with a bad doctor experience first. Read more...Collapse )

And so it's not all TL;DR here are a few pics my boyfriend took on Saturday of me on my 27th birthday. We went to a seafood restaurant.

+ 2 moreCollapse )

Boston healthcare, take two: mental edition.
 Since y'all were so amazingly helpful and responsive when I asked about Boston-area fat-friendly PCPs, I figured I'd give it another shot.

I'm looking for a damn good therapist.

and I kinda want to rant about it, tooCollapse )

Trying To Find Fat Positive Media... For Men
disturb the universe
My beautiful and handsome boyfriend is also fat. He's in the mid-300s, but he also happens to be 6'5. I think he's at a good weight and wouldn't want him to be much thinner than he is (though I will love him no matter what his body type).

The problem is, he has incredibly low self-esteem. Nearly as low as mine was before getting really into HAES and Size Acceptance. It's only really become an issue lately, but I want to share some resources to help him change his idea of what beauty is and begin to accept himself as he is and not long to be thinner and feel he is ugly because he is fat.

However, most of my Size Acceptance resources are very female-centric.

Like many of you, I've gone about changing my aesthetic perception by sinking myself into photos and videos of big, confident, beautiful women, and realizing that my body shape has nothing to do with my attractiveness, as those women's body shapes have nonthing to do with their size or shape. I would really like to try to find some similar material for him, but most body positive sites tend to be very female-centric. My guess is that since society is so much more strict and openly negative toward the female figure, body-positive sites and resources have become more vocal against the oppression of the female form, because the "male ideal" is far more flexible than the "female ideal." But the "male ideal" still bothers him, as well as quite a bit of fat shaming from his peers over the years. Sharing my fat-love resources doesn't have as much impact on him as they do on me since he has a harder time connecting to them. He loves fat and curvy women and he loves being able to share a larger-body love toward women (as a bisexual female, I've also found myself being more attracted to more body types than I was before becoming active in FA, and we enjoy looking at photos together) but it's harder to find more fat-man media, fetishistic, pornographic, artistic, or otherwise. I think being able to find this type of media would help my boyfriend's self-esteem as it helped mine.

What I am wondering is if anyone could provide me with Size Acceptance, Body Positive and Fat Positive sites that contain visual media that are gender-neutral or male-centric.

ETA: Thank you everyone for all your help and suggestions, and a big shout-out to all the fat guys!

Pick-me-up stories on being fat.
Possibly triggeringCollapse )

I think I need a pick-me-up and I'm not sure if I've seen one like this done ever before but how about we all share a pick-me-up story of some kind regarding our weight?

It could range from something like," Someone I least expected stood up for me when someone else was putting me down for my looks," or "I was apprehensive of what other people would think of me wearing a striped shirt. I ended up having everybody compliment me!" Just stories that are moments of WIN revolving around your weight. Think of it as almost like It Made My Day. Something to make you smile and feel good.

To start, here's my own WIN story:

My mom and I were eating a breakfast at some hotel and on the news came the discussion of fat discrimination, especially in terms of looking to get a job. My mom's jaw literally dropped when she watched it.

Now I'm not saying my mom lives in some sort of bubble from the real world, but she does come from a somewhat different culture and she's always been the type of lady with different kinds of friends and comes from a family where many women had various body shapes and sizes.

"People actually do that?' My mom asked and when I told her, blinking in surprise at the disbelief written on her face, yes, fat people do face lots of stigma in many areas of life, she got pissed.

"People are people ,"  She said with a lot of fervor, and had a rant right then and there at just how ridiculously superficial  people can be and that fat people have rights too and basically called anyone who said otherwise idiots. I could not stop grinning as I watched her go at it.

It was great because it gave me confidence to know that if I ever faced something as someone trying to humiliate/hurt me for my weight again, my mom had my back. I'm actually thinking about bringing up the subject of fat acceptance to her sometime soon and see what she thinks.

What are your own stories? :)

EDIT: Thank you guys so much for sharing all these beautiful stories. They've all left me with a smile on my face. I hope everyone can continue putting in their own fat-positive story even as this entry gets old. You're all amazing and you've left this girl feeling lighter in the heart than she has for months. Keep 'em coming guys. God knows we could use more happy-being-fat stories.

(no subject)
New here...
I was going to use this community to only check out sales post and read your all's discussions, but it occurred to me that out of anyone, you all could probably help me most with a clothing predicament. =)

I am currently winter coat-less. I have a few light jackets, but nothing nice and heavy. I've browsed the few plus-sized stores that came to mind (Torrid, Lane Bryant, etc.) but I have found anything I like.

This is pretty much exactly what I have in mind, only it most definitely would not fit me. (Currently in about a size 20)
I was hoping that you all could recommend a good site to check out that has some fashionable heavy coats.


Body image and King of the Hill
best. villans. ever.
I was watching King of the Hill earlier tonight and was awestruck by a scene in which Bobby (who's supposed to be 12, I think) reassures his mother after she discovers that she was being mocked for having large feet. I was staring at my TV in disbelief. This show can be very pro-fat sometimes; there's another episode where Bobby has to wear "husky" sizes and, instead of being embarrassed, he becomes a plus size model.

(P.S. Sorry for the iffy quality of the video, it was the only one I could find without linking the entire episode)

A positive experience - a lesson in acceptance
A couple of days ago, I had an experience which got me thinking.

Setting: train station. I'm wearing a pretty dress (green!), pretty peep-toe shoes (even greener!), and in general, feeling pretty.

Characters: me, and a bunch of teenage girls

Now the thing is, I know myself. I am wary of teenagers (hello childhood bullying, my, what deep marks you leave!). I regularly take a train which many teenagers take to get to school in the morning, and go home in the afternoon. Said teenagers are often very loud, make dumb remarks (hard to translate from Hungarian, but imagine stoner voices, obligatory swearing to seem "cool", making fart noises, you get the gist of it...some things are universal) and are in general, a pain in the ass.

Add to this that I have a rather strong persecution complex, and I think you can see where I'm going with this.

What happened was simply that I was standing around waiting for the train, and so were they. Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I could see one of the girls looking me up and down (my trigger is hands down that glance) and whispering something to one of her friends. Cue her friend glancing over, and pretty soon they had a conversation going which seemed to be centered on my dress and on my legs.

I was on the phone at this point, but my ears perked up and my palms started sweating. Immediately, a million assailed me - all negative.

"Are they talking about my legs - did I miss a spot when I was waxing?!"

"Are they talking about my toes - did I miss a toe when I was putting on nail polish?!"

"Are they talking about this dress - I'm sure I don't look as good in it as I thought, maybe I should have worn the other one..."

"Geez, I'm like an amazon next to them, damn petite teenagers..."

So on and so forth. Not one positive thought. And then I caught an actual sentence:

"I really like those shoes. Those are the kind of shoes I want!"

There you go. All the poor kid was doing was praising my shoes, and I heaped all my insecurities and preconceived notions on them. Instead on focusing on feeling good in myself, and approaching my looks from the view point of, well, me, I chose to put words in the mouth of a teenager.

I guess my point is just that whilst often the world can indeed be cruel, stupid, and shallow, sometimes it is we ourselves who put words into the mouths of other people, who perhaps in their heads are praising us at that very moment. It is a heartening thought, no? Sometimes we just have to let go, and dare to believe in people.

You are viewing fatshionista