Dil ([info]dilona) wrote in [info]fatshionista,
2009-08-27 08:41:00
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Angry

Hi all! I'm pissed off.

I've licensed all my flickr photos with a Creative Commons license that allows people to use my photos without asking my permission as long as they don't use them commercially. A few days ago I stumbled onto a website called The Dating Papers and was VERY surprised to see my fat face on their front page. An article called Is it okay to tell her she looks fat? is using a photo of me to illustrate and article which basically says 'My husband and I have a pact and he told me I was getting fat so now I'm losing weight'. It's not exactly the kind of content I'd like my picture associated with, but OK, if I'm dumb enough to let people use my photos...

I posted a comment saying 'I look fat in every dress I wear. Haha!' and the owner of the site replied to that comment yesterday. And shit am I pissed off today. He's trying to give me fashion and health advice!

http://thedatingpapers.com/is-it-okay-to-tell-her-she-looks-fat/

It's one thing to use my picture and a whole other thing to be making comments about how I should and shouldn't dress!

I don't really know what to do now. I'm angry and to be honest a bit sad.

This is the picture of me btw.

rad 80's dress




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[info]beautifulstars

August 27 2009, 07:00:34 UTC 2 years ago

I can't believe he's tried to give you fashion advice. And he's given you outdated fashion advice at that! You look fabulous in this photo!

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[info]et_tu_lulu

August 27 2009, 07:04:56 UTC 2 years ago

Try not to let it get to you. You look hot in that dress and if it makes you feel good wearing it, then go for it! He is an ass and imo, doesn't know what he is talking about.

[info]elvira1986

August 27 2009, 07:12:47 UTC 2 years ago

You look great in that dress! Don't let petty and unfashionable people get to you!

[info]dilona

August 27 2009, 07:23:24 UTC 2 years ago

Thanks! I love this dress. I found it at a thrift store after my mum went 'omg this is the ugliest thing I have ever seen' and I snapped it up instantly.

[info]not_so_neato

2 years ago

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[info]dazed_in_punk

August 27 2009, 07:13:01 UTC 2 years ago

That article just makes me angry. Excuse me, but you look gorgeous.. and you belt is cute!
And this whole 'pact' idea and the line "I did not hit him"... WTF!? You would smack someone over that?

And the funding of the workout gear?! It just makes me hate the culture we live in and the whole idea that we need money to, in turn, buy stupid things to perpetuate these fake beauty myths that everyone believes.
GRRRR.

Whoever this woman is who's writing in that stupid article and that guy who responded to you just need to croak. Like really, enough.


But honestly, you rock sister (and you're hot to boot). =]

[info]dilona

August 27 2009, 07:20:27 UTC 2 years ago

I know! The article in itself is pretty terrible. It's like you said as well, it's upsetting that people think you need money to exercise. Last I checked I could just put shoes on and walk out the door.

Thanks!

[info]dilona

2 years ago

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[info]sassylidge

2 years ago

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[info]dilona

2 years ago

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[info]omegamorningsta

August 27 2009, 07:13:32 UTC 2 years ago

What a douchebag. Seth, not you. You look great, btw.. I think that belt does a nice job of accentuating your waist and he has no idea what he's talking about. Never having had your body or in fact any plus-size woman's body, being a man and all, it's unsurprising he has no idea.

I commented on the thread:
Omega Says:
August 27th, 2009 at 12:09 am

Seth, I think you are HUGELY out of line here. It’s one thing to take this girl’s picture and put it on an article she mightn’t want her picture on…that’s the risk you take when you are generous with your Creative Commons…. but lecturing her on fashion, unsolicited?

Very rude indeed. An apology is in order.

If she’d asked for your opinion, fair enough – but she didn’t. What the heck makes you think you have the right? The fact that I think you’re way off beam with your advice is just salt in the wound.

[info]dilona

August 27 2009, 07:22:39 UTC 2 years ago

Thanks :)

I really appreciate it. I'm at loss for words what to say.

When I post pictures to the fatshionista flickr pool or here I really do LIKE getting criticism on my outfits but getting it just like that... uh.

[info]genghis_cunt

August 27 2009, 07:25:31 UTC 2 years ago

What?! Seriously? what an ass! I think you look awesome! You totally need a big yellow bag though to go with those rockin shoes :)

[info]dilona

August 27 2009, 07:28:41 UTC 2 years ago

I have been looking all over for a bag to go with the shoes! Now it's autumn soon so I mustard coloured things should be easier to find. I want a bag in the same kind of patent material too. I love these shoes so much.

Plus, blue and yellow is the Swedish flag. I'm a walking advertisment for my homeland ;p

[info]not_so_neato

2 years ago

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[info]jadaze

August 27 2009, 07:25:47 UTC 2 years ago

I've put some art and photos into the CC, too. Darned if people don't seem to ignore the not-for-profit rule, and use them in ways I hadn't imagined. I created a series of sugar photos, and sure enough, they can be found out there being used for anti-sugar articles of dubious quality. I imagine it hurts more when it's your face on a message you don't care for. The joke is on them, though, putting a pretty picture on it kinda works against their message!

[info]aurorastar420

August 27 2009, 08:43:03 UTC 2 years ago

The joke is on them, though, putting a pretty picture on it kinda works against their message!

Seriously. The OP looks beautiful in that picture.

Honestly, I had to make myself close the tab with that stupid article, otherwise I was going to tear into that ass clown, likely saying something along the lines of "I don't need to ask my partner if my outfit makes me look fat. My fat makes me look fat. It's the same fat I had five years ago when he asked me out the first time." aaaand it would have been all downhill (for him) from there.

[info]thirtiesgirl

2 years ago

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[info]aurorastar420

2 years ago

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[info]thirtiesgirl

2 years ago

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[info]aurorastar420

2 years ago

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[info]darianj5

August 27 2009, 07:27:04 UTC 2 years ago

What an asshole!!!! The scariest thing about that site is that he somehow feels entitled to give advice. You looked very cute in the photo and whether he helped himself to the pic or Sarah did (and what a case she is btw) what he said to you was totally and completely out of line.

[info]dilona

August 27 2009, 07:36:47 UTC 2 years ago

I know! What gives him the right to comment on my body like that? Ugh.

[info]illusionaltzu

2 years ago

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[info]agentdanger

August 27 2009, 07:36:39 UTC 2 years ago

the dude has no idea what he's talking about. you look fab in that outfit!

he should be thanking you for adding photos to the Creative Commons and (out of courtesy) offering to take your photo off the site. instead he's giving you weird, condescending advice. he states his opinions about women's bodies & clothing choices like they're rules that apply to all society. kind of infuriating.

[info]definatalie

August 27 2009, 07:37:16 UTC 2 years ago Edited: August 27 2009, 07:39:57 UTC

Just because you license your photos with CC, does not mean that people can use them without consideration. You always have permission NAY! the right to ask to remove your photograph from things that you do not agree with. The CC community in Australia is strong and supportive; I remember a case last year where a photograph was used for something the author did not agree with, and the whole community rallied to get the publisher to remove the image. I'm not sure if your country's CC community can help you out with this situation but it's well worth at least asking the site to remove the photograph, and searching for support within the Creative Commons community in your country.

If they have directly linked to your flickr page, you can change the privacy settings to "private" and then back to public and it will break the link! Unfortunately in this case the publisher has uploaded the image to their own site, but you still reserve the right to ask them to remove it.

[info]dilona

August 27 2009, 08:01:36 UTC 2 years ago

Thank you for the helpful comment. I've been thinking about it but thought I was being silly.

[info]definatalie

2 years ago

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[info]pinkpolarity

2 years ago

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[info]aurorastar420

2 years ago

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[info]mercuryfading

2 years ago

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[info]godess_22

August 27 2009, 08:11:46 UTC 2 years ago

Right! So I read this and got so pissed off I had to run over there and post. I just could not control myself! How DARE they?!?! I think you look fantastic! The belt is great, your shoes rock and you are beautiful! So, I posted this, sorry if it is offensive to anyone I just couldn't take it!

Sarah & Seth,

Sarah, you have the nerve to write this article about a very personal subject: your honesty pact with your husband and your weight loss; yet we see a picture of someone else entirely? Honesty with your readers is obviously not very important. You and the editor take this picture of a lovely young lady and then slandered her? "Yes, honey, that belt is quite slimming!" Really? Wow! Ya'll must have balls of brass that drag on the ground 10ft behind you!

Oh, and Seth...The belt is a great and essential part of that outfit. It adds that touch of rock star glam and brings the eye up to her chest and fantastic face. Lots and lots of body types can rock the belt and dress look, not just skinny "rail-thin" ladies. Wake up! There is no fashion that is restricted to just thin women, all of women's fashion belongs to every woman. Get over yourself, you are not Gods gift to women's fashion advice.

[info]dilona

August 27 2009, 08:19:20 UTC 2 years ago

That is a totally awesome comment! And you are so right, there is no fashion that's restricted just to thin women :)

[info]obscura1

2 years ago

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[info]thirtiesgirl

2 years ago

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[info]pinkpolarity

August 27 2009, 08:43:30 UTC 2 years ago

I'm not sure what's worse, what that horrid webjockey did or the article itself (and the bio of the author, which made my eyes roll so hard they almost fell out of my head). Her husband tells her to get out of the futon and put her feet on the tatami mat. Because, if you didn't get it from the incredibly pretentious look-at-me images that invokes, she's a Westerner living in Japan. With five children. Who, she feels it worth mentioning, were born after 2001-- I'm not sure why this matters, but perhaps this is after her brief flirtation with being something other than a size 8. Her Wealthy Hipster Mom cred, let her show you it, with faux concern in the comments over the "sickness" that is "obesity". Lady, if you think that's a sickness, you're so privileged that I don't even have words for it.

(And I think you look amazing, even if that outfit is as not my type as not my type can be. It's on trend, and it's flattering to you.)

[info]hellonurse118

August 27 2009, 14:04:00 UTC 2 years ago

Those are my thoughts, exactly.

Also, such brazen, uninformed opinions about other people (i.e., the ignorant caption placed on your photo) usually are a good indicator of a HUGE coverup of terribly deep insecurities (homophobia, fatphobia, racism, etc). Her "size 8" is a distant memory, and that scares her because clearly that's what she (and the ABSOLUTELY DASHING Seth) associates with love and self-worth. If size was not such a deep issue for them, the thought never would have crossed their minds to post a random picture of a truly fabulous and confident-looking person with a crude joke.

Dust it off, they are ignorant and obtuse individuals. They lose.

[info]hellonurse118

2 years ago

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[info]jumbled_words

August 27 2009, 10:27:37 UTC 2 years ago

Mad love from another Swedish fatshionista! I think people have already said everything there is, but I always get excited to see other Swedes on here, so I'm doling out some extra <3 <3 <3.

[info]jumbled_words

August 27 2009, 10:29:22 UTC 2 years ago

Did I mention that I absolutely love your blog? A fellow fatshionista, a veg'n, a feminist AND a Swede? Score.

[info]bizetsy

August 27 2009, 10:31:28 UTC 2 years ago

I gave him the what-for. How totally disrespectful and out of line of him. And WRONG, to boot. You look fantastic.

And by the way, I was at my unhealthiest EVER when I was at my lowest weight. It's NOT necessarily the best indicator. He's an ass!

And, since he's so keen on giving advice, what's with his heinous facial hair choices? Yikes!

[info]beautyofgrey

August 27 2009, 11:22:37 UTC 2 years ago

Seriously? You're gorgeous, and I love the photo. I think the photo definitely works against them, in this case!

[info]cawingcrow

August 27 2009, 11:35:57 UTC 2 years ago

I think you look awesome and the guy is an utter idiot. I've only been doing the creative commons licensing on pictures that don't have people in them (most of my pics are cat pics anyway) as I'm cynical enough not to trust folks. Sorry that happened to you.

[info]maatkheper

August 27 2009, 11:38:28 UTC 2 years ago

What a dick. Doesn't he know you're supposed to use one of those headless fatty pictures for articles like this? [Not that I approve of that!]

And I imagine many of the article readers will wonder why he picked a picture such an attractive, fashionable woman for a fat-shaming article.

[info]tpthegreat

August 27 2009, 11:39:36 UTC 2 years ago

Uh. If they were trying to go for fat=bad then they probably should have reconsidered their choice of photo.

Anyway, I looked through some of the other stuff on the site and it seems to basically operate with the understanding that men and women are extreme gender stereotypes. So I don't know if their ridiculous opinions are even worth considering.

[info]dilona

August 27 2009, 15:25:35 UTC 2 years ago

Well don't you know men are from mars and women from venus? Duh. But yeah, their opinions seem kind of shit and old fashioned to me.

[info]breenah

August 27 2009, 12:41:02 UTC 2 years ago

I absolutely love that a lot of people were berating him on your behalf :)
You look fab in the photo!

[info]ohh_anxiety

August 27 2009, 12:41:44 UTC 2 years ago

i agree with all the things being said about creative commons.

when I read this I thought they might have used a photo that was someone's idea of fat=unnatractive (there are a few of those among my favourite photos of me), I laughed out loud with happiness when i saw what a great and goregous picture it is!

[info]kittycatchops

August 27 2009, 12:55:35 UTC 2 years ago

This really hurts me. I can't believe that anyone would be this insensitive, and I want you to know that you look wonderful in that photo and what this person did WAS wrong. They are the one in the wrong here, not you. I just hope you don't let this get you down and keep on rocking your dresses with belts, because you LOOK GREAT!

[info]dilona

August 27 2009, 15:26:25 UTC 2 years ago

Thank you, that's very nice of you to say :)

[info]darkbeforedawn

August 27 2009, 13:40:13 UTC 2 years ago

Wow, that woman really needs to get a personality/life outside of her husband. She can't even buy workout gear on her own? It's like she's trapped in some idea of a perfect '50s housewife.

P.S. As everyone else said - you look hot in that picture. I LOVE your style. And personally, I find that the dress/belt look does NOT work on woman who are rail-thin....you need curves, otherwise it just looks silly!

What a pair of douchebags...they kinda deserve each other.

[info]alasbabylon

August 27 2009, 13:43:20 UTC 2 years ago

yeah, wow. he's a chode, you look smashing. though, honestly, while what you actually mean by statements like 'i look fat in every dress' is understandable in communities like this one, i think it's a bit too far outside the mainstream to register with lots of people, namely buttmunches like that dude who think looking/being fat is something that needs correction. just my humble opinion clearly :)

[info]dilona

August 27 2009, 15:28:06 UTC 2 years ago

You are probably right and I realise now my comment about looking fat in everything I wear probably sounds like I'm upset about it to people that aren't in communities like this one.

Thanks :)

[info]mrs_hijinx84

August 27 2009, 13:49:31 UTC 2 years ago

I can't even put into words how angry this situation makes me! GRRRRRRRR!!!!!
What a complete pair of douche-nozzles those two are. And you look wonderful! I love, love, love the outfit.
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