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elusis wrote in fatshionista
So, the Navelgazing Midwife has a post (which I found through Susie Bright's blog) about fat vaginas. I'm posting it here because there is some good information that larger women may want to have when at the OB/GYN, but I think it's also a good example of how size-supportive and size-phobic information can be blended together so insidiously that it's hard to see where one ends and the other begins.

The post, and some of the comments, contain mentions of gastric bypass surgery, so be aware of that if you may find it upsetting.

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Fat women are usually "tighter," actually.

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Same here. I've never even needed those plus-sized pads. The whole thing made me WTF.

Aside from some of her claims that seem to be rather generalising, what struck me was the whole "now I orgasm without a vibe!" boast/comment.

I fully admit to being sensitive on this issue because, at the risk of TMI, I can't orgasm from penetrative sex alone and have been made to feel ashamed of this for years. The last thing I want to read is the insinuation that this is because my vagina is fat and I'll magically have orgasms if I lose a few lbs.

I'm a 14 UK, so I doubt this massively applies to me but still. . . It's not very women/sex positive, IMO.

That's the part that bothered me the most as well.

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that was depressing. I've never thought about having a fat vagina. damn.

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I totally can touch my own clit/stick my fingers in my vagina. I could also do this stuff when I weighed 360+ pounds. One person's experience does not equal everyone's experience.

One person's experience does not equal everyone's experience.

Bingo. I love how she's positioning herself as a medical authority, and yet almost every piece of "evidence" in the post is her own personal experience with her own personal vag.

This whole thing is particularly funny to me because there was a joke about women worrying about their fat vaginas on Family Guy last night. I turned to my eternally activism-tolerant boyfriend and groused "Do you know how many people used to get to my blog by googling 'ways to lose fat on mons pubis' or something like that?" (It's all because of this post.) But even I thought that the idea of fat vagina anxiety was absurd. Way to give everyone a whole new complex, lady.

None of the "fat vagina" stuff is true about me and I'm 335 pounds.
In the course of gaining 250 pounds, these things have NOT changed in any way: my vagina's hold on a tampon, my ability to orgasm or has my doctor's ability to find my cervix.

Reach issues are really dependant on the indvidual as well.

orgasming from penetrative sex only happens in about 10-20% of women and has NOTHING to do with fatness or skininess but nerve distribution in the vagina. WTF?!

Basically, it's lazy and deceptive to make generalizations based on body-type.

I've had a couple doctors ask me to scoot so my butt hangs off the table so my butt doesn't squish the canal....but that was the only weight-related issue I've had at the gyn.

I hate how she makes it sound like all fat women have fat vaginas. I don't. My doc uses the small speculum. My slender regular tampons stay right where they're supposed to be. I can touch all my bits, have multiple non-vibrator orgasms, and I'm a size 30. There is no "throwing a hotdog down a hallway" syndrome when it comes to sex. Hell, I'm proud of my small vag.

"throwing a hotdog down a hallway"

BAAHAHAHAHAHAHA -- never heard that one. I sporfled my drink onto my keyboard!!

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Another person chucking in a 'hell no' vote here. I'm a size 16-18 and I recently tried to have a transvaginal scan to test me for PCOS. They couldn't actually insert the damn thing. It's that small., I don't buy this. Moreover, I think it's pretty insulting, coming from a medical professional. As I said in response to another comment, women have so many issues about their orgasms to begin with, why find another thing to blame on weight?

Ummmm, no.

I am fat, fat, fatty, fat, fat and I have never had any of those problems. I was actually quite slim until college, and my sexual functioning has not changed in the slightest. If anything learning to accept my body- every inch, every role, has made me able to enjoy sex even more.

I think this was very fat-phobic, not at all evidence based, unscientific and most importantly, full of shit.

I previously had issues orgasming through penetration alone but my husband and I have experimented enough we found it was just the wrong positions.
I have no problems keeping tampons in if I get them inserted properly the first time and never had to use larger speculums....

agh, we have to talk, i've never been able to have an orgasm from penetration alone but i'm having the best sex of my life now and i feel that we are on the verge. . .

hmm... i think i agree with all the previous comments. generalization.

also, this bothered me:

"Newer speculums do exist that hold the walls open, but I'm still in the speculum dark ages."

don't you think you owe it to your clients to have the proper equipment on hand?

I know. It's like an admission that her equipment choices are all about her personal preferences and not about the needs and well-being of her patients/clients. I wonder why so many women are rejecting traditional medicine these days!

You know, it's just occurred to me... nobody accuses fat guys of having fat penises. Isn't this just as absurd?

Nooo, because fat penises are a 'GOOD' thing. It's just us dirty fat girls that are defective. Presumably.

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I just thought of this....if the walls were collapsing, how does the vagina get bigger? That just doesn't make sense!!

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umm? what?

she couldn't keep a tampon in because she was fat? I have never had a tampon fall uot, be it super or regular. gah.

This piece bugged me, a lot. fatphobic, totally.

me either! i have a hard time getting them in AND out.

This whole thing just made me think 'what the hell???'... I mean seriously, I weigh in the 240s and I gained a lot of weight rather rapidly. Nothing like that happened, if anything it seems just a bit tighter.

that blog post has made me furious! when i was 300+ pounds i NEVER had any issues using a "regular" speculum at my GYNO's office, and i sure as hell could touch my clit, put my fingers inside me, and most importantly have an orgasm from oral sex.

in short, i hate her and everything she wrote on that blog post. i hate her more because she's a "medical professional".


A medical professional who is about rejecting conventional medicine, but who's all thrilled about bypass surgery.

*blinkblink* I've always heard/found that I'm exceptionally tight. Tampons are more likely to get stuck than anything, you know? And guys, um, definitely don't complain. More the opposite, really. Granted, I'm orgasmically challenged, but I'm pretty sure that's not for lack of ability to touch anything or anything. I dunno. That whole thing felt really fatphobic to me.

oh, and i'd also like to say that shit like this just reinforces the fucked up stereotype that fat women have loose vaginas. do you know how many times i've heard that come out of men's mouths? don't fuck a fat girl! you won't feel a thing?

again, i hate her.


you speak eloquently. And truth.

She should have just stuck to the comments about the speculum and condoms and left it at that, and not gone into the stuff about sex and orgasms.

I can understand a midwife not being able to afford more expensive speculums, so the DIY thing is okay...I'm very midwife-positive. But the rest of the stuff about tampons and sex and all was pointless. The whole post just seems to be "I used to have a fat vahjayjay but I lost 2497439473 pounds and now life is OMG so bettah!"

Yeah, that's a pretty decent summary.

That, and the one legitimately interesting piece of medical technique hidden in there, about the condom-on-speculum.

i was pretty horrified after reading that post. my problems with tampons have been i couldn't get them in far enough/to stay in because i was too tight/small not the opposite. and as for sex, i have never had a guy tell me i was loose, it was more that i was really tight and soft, etc. i was totally disgusted by her story with the tampon shooting out when she sneezed in a pool. gross!!

that article totally made me feel ashamed of being fat.. blah.

that part about the tampon shooting out is a load of shit. first of all, she'd have to be NAKED with her kid in the pool in order for it to "shoot out". if she were wearing a bathingsuit, there's no way in hell that would happen. second of all, if her vag was so fat-n-loose, how could it shoot out? you'd need MUSCLES to do that (which we all have. well, except for HER).

again, i hate her.

That made me want to burn things. Oh my fucking god. I seriously hate this woman. HATE her. How fucking dare she post all that horseshit under the guise of "medical information?" ARRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!!!!

I weigh over 500 fucking pounds and was at the gynocologist last week. Not only did they have to use their smallest speculum but the doctor asked the nurse if they had anything smaller. WALLS COLLAPSING!? What the hell is she talking about!? IS MY VAGINA CAVING IN!?!? And why does she refuse to buy more modern medical equipment in order to make her patients more comfortable? I guess it's easier to blame the fatties. Way to make it LESS LIKELY for fat women to get the exams and help they need! What a fucking service you're doing to women AND the medical community!

And oh my god, almost no woman orgasms from penetration alone! How fucking dare she imply that the inability to do so is so fat-caused disorder!?

I hate this woman with the intensity of a thousand suns. I'm going to breathe now.

This comment is awesome.

I just need to reiterate just how freaking heterosexist and sex-negative this author's perspective is.

I mean, so fucking what if someone has a "loose" vagina? I mean, the author assumes that this is OMGHORRIBLE because it might mean that traditional hetero bio-penis-in-vagina sex might not be the primary way that two people are able to have orgasms. And clearly, that means the end of a great sex life period. Jesus.

How uncreative and problematic can you BE?


i'm sad that this person is using her status as a so-called "medical professional" to push this garbage on people. bleh.

I was excited for about thirty seconds then crashed. I can't even start to list the problems I have with most of what she said.

That makes me really sad.

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