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beelavender, besides being an experienced community-builder, is, in my opinion, one of the most articulate writers on outsider identity out there. She has this to say about community, from a recent interview:One of the most fascinating and problematic aspects of building communities is the fact that, no matter how intelligent or evolved we imagine ourselves to be, most of us act like thirteen year olds. In saying this I definitely include myself; I'm still the watchful, defiant kid who grew up on the edge of a forest. I'm still most comfortable in groups defined by outsider status, and still very aware of the fact that I'm a working class person in a middle class world. I'm also still waiting for my invitation to a fancy dress party that is mostly mythical. When I was in my teens I used to act as a sort of punk version of Julie from the Love Boat, organizing expeditions and adventures, contests and protests, harassing my friends and enemies into at least pretending that they were having fun. This is approximately how I still operate, except now I serve wine at my parties.
Recognizing that my goals and limitations have never changed much allows me to maintain a consistent social agenda. I value community, but I'm not interested in drama. Life is far too difficult and fleeting to get mired down in scandal, gossip, or fear. When I get depressed, I put on a costume and throw a party. This might not work for everyone, but the core advice should: when you were a kid, what did you wish for? What made you happy? If you can figure that out, and act on your youthful desires, you will automatically be a happier person. This will in turn make it easier to create substantial and rewarding friendships, which are the core of any community.
Read the entire interview here:
http://www.mamazine.com/Pages/featu
Also, read Bee's recently-released book Lessons in Taxidermy, in which there was a lot for me to learn, as a fat woman, about the intersection of medically-pathologized bodies and outsider identity.
December 19 2005, 16:16:39 UTC 6 years ago
December 21 2005, 00:17:09 UTC 6 years ago
December 19 2005, 18:22:22 UTC 6 years ago
December 21 2005, 00:17:34 UTC 6 years ago